HYDE ZAYN, ME03:01
*currently listening to Hero* ok here goes rants. The title is just created out of ketandusan idea. The main point of the title is of course ZAYN FUGGIN MALIK WHO HURTS MORE THAN MILLION FANS AND THAT INCLUDES ME. I'm writing this since I'm totally stabil now memang dah stabil sangat k later nangis lagi gila. IM USING YESTERDAY BCS IT'S EASIER. JUST ASSUME THAT I WROTE THIS ENTRY YESTERDAY. OKAY PROCEED. I am. Less emotional than I was yesterday. Like even my bedrooms door won't even look at me *listening to One Person* I cried and cried and cried like THE WHOLE FCKIN DAY I JUST. IVE BROKE MY OWN RECORD OF CRYING. LAST RECORD WAS I THINK 3HRS?? And apparently yesterday I cried for..... Atleast 10hrs and a half????? HAHAHAHA LYIN BOUT THE OTHER HALF MAYBE I STOP ABOUT 3PM?? Since I start watching korean dramas at 3 pm smething(I HAVE TO DISTRACT MYSELF MAN) And omg yesterday is like the worst day of my life... I think second??
First one is when my moms dead. But I don't even cried that much though. Zayns worser. Nobody tweets about my mom! That's why la not cryin that much ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ I kept scrolling the twitter and cried rting and cried cried and cried I said to myself not to cry but still... IM HAVING LIKE A SEVERE MENTAL BREAKDOWN YESTERDAY THOUGH. I NEVER FEEL SO EMPTY LIKE THERES HOLE IN MY HEART AND MY STOMACH HURTS. MY HEAD HURTS FROM CRYING TOO MUCH MY EYES KEPT STINGING EVERYTIME I WIPED IT LIKE IT HURTS SO MUCH TISSUES ARE JUST EVRYWHERE IN BED ON THE FLOOR IT FEELS LIKE MY LIFE IS TOTALLY OVER LIKE ALL PHOTOS OF ZAYN MAKES ME CRIED EVEN LOUDER *listening to 18* so kiss me when i lay down blablabla my earphone is fuckin broke!!!!! I NEED NEW EARPHONE EH NO I NEED HEADPHONE ok I know that was random. But the good part of this is, I finally realised that my (ex)classmates are just sofaking caring man like IM SO TOUCHED THOUGH TO THE POINT THAT IM CRYING MY EYES OUT they were like whatsapp-ed me with 'everything will be okay' like I KNOW IM NOT OKAY EVENTHO THEY SAID IT WILL BE OKAY LIKE IT WILL NOT BE OKAY LIKE HOW IS ZAYN LEAVING ONE DIRECTION OKAY HOW IS 4/5 OKAY HOW IS ONE DIRECTION MINUS ZAYN IS OKAY HOW IS ME GOIN TO 1D CONCERT IN THE FUTURE AND THRES JUST 4 OF THEM IS OKAY IS2G ITS NOT GOING TO BE OKAY BUT I JUST NEED IT.. JUST.... LIKE IVE RECEIVED ABT 7TEXTS OR MAYBE LIKE TEN 'EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY' TEXTS AND EVEN WHATSAPP. A deep appreciation for menyusahkan diri menghantar such a sweet texts. THANKS GUYS SARANGHAEE Apparently, bcs of this thing I now know I have two types of friend. One, friend who said laaa crying just bcs of that je ke and two, are u ok are you cryin WELL IN THE END I NEED BOTH TYPE OF FRIEND LIKE IF I JUST HAVE THAT NUMBER 2 FRIEND ILL BE A TOTAL SPOILED FANGIRL so I'm grateful for having friends who are there for me *listening to Real Love* And I'm givin you guys some articles on zayn and of course phtoos of my zayn which makes me tearing up like in a second. Is2g man whenever I read that article, tears won't just stop falling like it's like flood man. Like banjir kilat ya see. It's just keep coming out and oh out of a sudden man I just. If someone hiring me to act for a crying scene, I'm just gonna reread that article of zayn and might won myself an oscar though. And ya know suddenly all songs are about zayn like I've listened to many songs yesterday and it fits just right.
What more heartbreaking is, THE FACT THAT NIGHT CHANGES IS THE LAST MV THAT WILL EVER SHOOT AS FIVE AND THE CONCERT IN THAILAND IS THE LAST ONE TOGETHER AND WE FANS DIDNT EVEN EXPECT THAT OHGOD ITS HURTS SO MUCH Okay should stop ranting now... BYE DONT STOP LOVING ONE DIRECTION THOUGH BCS I MIGHT 'CRY SO MUCH ILL DROWN YOU IN MY TEARS U LITTLE SHIT' bye
P/s : did i mention that I cursed bcs he rudely saying that 1d should disband like this 'cepat-ceptlah bubar one direction ni. Thanks zayn malik' that fuckin retarded bastard jinjja.. And I quote his tweet and cursing and he got a reply from someone like 'dia faham bhasa melayu ke?' ah let's just let it sink